It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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