are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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