Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I didn't notice because vodka
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
