I want to walk on stilts...naked
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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