South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize