i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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