I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
