it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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