i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
