i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
