I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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