So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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