Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
