yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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