So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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