Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
