I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize