if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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