I can tuck mytits in my pants
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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