The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize