i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
