I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
