That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
