So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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