I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
