I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Boobs are out for the taking
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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