remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
