do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
