Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
