The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
