does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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