If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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