these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
