felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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