She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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