Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
