You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
