so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
