I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
