if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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