We won't sleep together?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
