He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
