I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
