Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
All the doctor said was why
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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