After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
