You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
