have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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