So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
NoShamevember. You game?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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