Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
