I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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