i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just want nice things and good sex
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
