so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
