and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
