Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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