Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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