Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She said her name was "party"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
