So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
