yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
